The Truest of True

The presence of beauty in this world can be overwhelming, as can the presence of suffering or peace or injustice.  In the presence of our Selves we remain until the day we allow ourselves to be immersed in the presence of ONE of these things.  This I Believe.  In running you experience all 4 of these.  Imagine what it will be like to experience the blessing of monks upon you as you set out to run 26.2   miles at almost 12,000′ elevation across the Tibetan Plateau.  I am in awe of this possibility.  I am in awe of coming upon the wake of this person within.  I know she’s there.  I’ve seen glimpses of her from time to time.

Find me, oh heart.  Brush your lips upon mine and remember innocent times, when you gave yourself freely to this wilderness of passion.  What must happen?  Wrap your strong arms around my ribs and grab my hair.  Breathe on my neck and whisper dirty dirty things all over my pulsating white body.  Then maybe I will remember.  Ha!

Do all runners have a split personality? 

For that matter, if you have something that you do, that you have to do or you just don’t feel quite right (I’m talking about healthy things not drugs, so it could be painting, music, cycling, the daily crossword, working, teaching, dancing, anything), do you sort of become a different person when you are doing this? 

For me (and I go through this serious weirdness about 2-3 weeks after every race is over so I sound like a broken record, I know), I think that I am always going to be happiest running every day with a goal in mind, even if it’s a baby one.  In these past couple of weeks I have gotten so many of my side projects done that you would think I was on crack or something.  I have come to the conclusion that I’m a little hyper-active and maybe even crazy on a usual basis, but you just dont see it unless I’m not running.  My mind starts in, and I start overanalyzing everything and picking things apart that should be left alone….wow.  What must I have been like for 2 years when I wasnt really running regularly?  If I wasn’t able to run right now would I be covered in tattoos, have read every book in the world, know how to speak 10 languages, have pissed everyone off that I know at least twice, and have painted every wall in my house at least a hundred times?   

Thank God I can run.  And I do.  And this thanks goes deeper than what you see on the surface.  Nothing is permanent.  Death is eminent.  Decay is a part of us so that we can go on living and not feel guilty about our past.     

THIS, this is a statement of the truest of true thanksgiving.  I feel so lucky to be able to run still, to this day.  Moments of truth – we all have them (if we’re not being a frickin tool and have the balls to actually confront them). 

May you find Yours….